I’m Tired of Talking, But Silence Doesn’t Feed Me – Christian J. Evans

The Women Who Shaped Me

My life has been heavily influenced by two women: my grandmother and my mother.

The principles they taught me are foundational to who I am. These aren’t just sayings—they’re codes I live by.

 

Principle #1: “A Man That Doesn’t Work, Doesn’t Eat”

I’ll never forget when my grandmother told me that. We were on the phone during one of our regular conversations, and she said:

“A man that doesn’t work, doesn’t eat.”

It stuck. Always has.

That statement was plain, clear, and powerful. It summed up a truth I couldn’t ignore. If you don’t work, you don’t eat.

And I love to eat.

My grandmother—who also taught me how to cook—showed me through that one line, how important hard work is.

I’ve carried that mindset into everything I do. I’ve always had a solid relationship with work. I’m not afraid of it. I never have been.

 

Principle #2: “I’m Not Going to Keep Repeating Myself”

Now my mother—her principle hit differently:

“I’m not going to keep repeating myself.”

It sounds harsh, and sometimes it was, but it was always true. If you heard her the first time, she expected you to move. Period.

I was probably in the third or fourth grade, downstairs playing my video game, when she called my name

“Jon!”

I heard her, but I didn’t respond.

“Jon!!”

Still, I didn’t move.

“Jon!!!”

This time I shouted, “What!?”

But there was only silence.

My heart sank.

I knew I messed up.

I made my way upstairs, turned the corner, and asked, “Mom, why were you calling me?”

She said:

“One, don’t you ever say ‘what’ to me. You come see what I want. And two, I’m not going to repeat myself. This is it. Next time I call you, you come. If you don’t, you’re in trouble.”

That moment taught me the value of listening the first time.

The power of responsiveness.

She didn’t believe in repeating herself, and to this day, I carry that expectation in my work and my relationships.

 

Principle #3: “A Closed Mouth Doesn’t Get Fed”

This one took me longer to understand.

“A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.”

It didn’t hit me like the first two, but over time, I began to understand: if you don’t speak up, if you don’t ask, you won’t get what you need.

It’s tied to

James 4:2-  …ye have not because ye ask not.

I started applying it everywhere, even in small things. Like when you’re out to eat and you need a straw. You won’t get it unless you ask. If your mouth is closed, you’ll sit there thirsty.

The bigger idea? Don’t let hesitation stop you from asking.

Because that hesitation can turn into procrastination. And procrastination eats up time—and time doesn’t care about your excuses. It just moves on.

 

My Current Crossroads

These three principles have shaped how I live and work:

1. 
   

   A man that doesn’t work, doesn’t eat

2. 
   

   I’m not going to keep repeating myself

3. 
   

   A closed mouth doesn’t get fed

But now, I’m caught between them.

I communicate for a living. I motivate, inspire, and teach through my voice—whether it’s a blog, podcast, video, or social post. But lately, I’ve been exhausted. Emotionally. Spiritually. Physically.

I’m tired of repeating myself.

But if I don’t talk, I don’t eat.

Communication is my work, and I’ve been silent.

 

When Grief Stops the Work

After my cousin Shun passed away last year, I tried to push through—tried to go back to business as usual. But that didn’t last.

Grief caught up with me. And suddenly, I didn’t want to talk anymore.

Not to the world.

Not even to you—my audience. I stopped podcasting.

I stopped putting myself out there. I didn’t want to work.

I still did some things—I had to.

People count on me, but it wasn’t the same.

It wasn’t fruitful.

So that raised a hard question:

What happens when you’re working, but it’s not bearing any fruit?

Did I plant in bad soil? Did I fail to nurture what I started?

Maybe.

Or maybe I was just too broken to keep tending the garden?

 

The Realization: Communication Is Still Work

I still don’t feel like talking sometimes.

I still don’t like repeating myself.

I’ve come to realize that communication, like fitness, has variations.

Just like there are different ways to train your triceps—cables, dumbbells, barbells—there are different ways to communicate.

I had to start looking at life like that.

This is how I work.

This is how I eat.

 

The Present Is a Gift

It’s Wednesday morning, I’m sitting in my car, about to train my first client of the day.

I’ve already ridden my bike for 20 minutes. I’ve prayed. I’ve read my Bible, and slowly, my love for communication is returning.

I’m learning that just because I’ve said something before doesn’t mean it can’t be said again—with variation, with new perspective, with growth.

I’m learning that guidance is more powerful than repetition.

I’ve been off track, but I’m getting back on track with God’s help.

I’m learning that even though I don’t like repeating myself, I can still speak with purpose. I can still work. I can still eat, but it starts with communication.

 

Final Thoughts: Guidance Is Key

If you’re trying to get your life back on track, you might just need a guide.

I’m here for you—not just as a trainer, but as someone who understands the messiness, the grief, the fatigue.

The feeling of not wanting to talk.

The burnout from always repeating yourself, but also the importance of showing up anyway.

If you’re tired, if you’re grieving, if you’ve lost your way…

Know this:

You’re still here.

You’re not alone.

Let’s get back to work—together.