Noticing What I Need – retirementtransition

Synchronicity continues to amaze me and in the past few weeks it was all about self-care. Perhaps the Universe was telling me what I needed to notice more for my own emotional healing?

First, I was inspired by a blog post from everydayGyaan (link here ) to look at what self-care practices did I engage in this past month. For her, self-care was about healing and noticing what she personally needed to heal.

Then another friend recommended that I choose a couple of self-care practices to add into my routine to help with my emotional recovery. She said, “Just find a list of 100 self-care practices on Pinterest and pick a couple you’d like to try”. Self-care is individual and can be all kinds of practices to improve one’s physical health, one’s mental state, and one’s emotional frequency. I found a few lists and had 400 possibilities to look through! I did read over all the potential ideas; there was a lot of duplication, but still new nuggets popped out from each list.

And finally, I read an article about vibrations and using self-care to raise my personal vibration. I’ve dabbled into looking at the concept of high vibration before. I read (and believe) that some people radiate positive vibes (high vibration) while others project neutral or even negative vibes (low vibration). With my on-going desire to put Positive Psychology into Practice (link here to one blog on that), I certainly want to be someone with positive vibration! The same article about vibration encouraged one to think of vibration as a scale with joy at the top and then way lower down feelings such as anger. I certainly am working on managing my anger (link to blog on that topic here). This concept also aligns with earlier reading I did on Emotional Awareness – becoming aware of my feelings/emotions and trying to “move up” the scale there (link here). And of course, the idea is aligned with thinking about self-care right now! So much connection.

When I started to answer the question, what self-care practices did I engage in this past month, I came to a complete stop. Did I do anything for self-care? Then reading the lists jolted me on how much I did do! I had to really think about, why am I not recognizing/acknowledging my own self-care? I also wondered if by not recognizing it, the practices would be less effective at doing “their job” of filling me up, helping my emotional regulation. or alleviating stress. Awareness is always the first thing as it forms the foundation of personal growth and is the impetus for meaningful action. I’m pretty sure I don’t acknowledge self-care because internally I still believe self-care is selfish! But, I am going to recognize my self-care now, selfish or not.

It was fascinating to also learn that a focus on self-care could help me find myself again. I’ve been a bit lost dealing with the trauma of our hurricane loss (link to one of my Who Am I blogs). Since I also noted that self-care activities should be enjoyable, should deliver a sense of accomplishment, and should fill me up, I tried to look at activities that met these needs!

There are a few things I noted in this complete exercise.

I need to give myself permission to not feel guilty when I admit that I do quite a lot for self-care.
I need to recognize the many things I do that ARE self-care practices and acknowledge (and be grateful for) the ones that do “fill me up”.
It’s challenging sometimes to try new things for self-care, and I’m actually not sure I need more activities for self-care!.

Some of the things that are part of my normal routine that ARE self-care practices:

Morning Journaling – I journal to celebrate my wins, to process my feelings, to capture ideas for writing, and sometimes to just write about whatever is on my mind.
- A subset of journaling I need more consistently with is practicing gratitude.
- Another subset of my journalling that is also self-care is my monthly I Did It List (link to first blog here) that tends to include anything that feels like an accomplishment, whether big or small.
Intentional Connections – This includes regular calls or messages to people I love, multiple book club conversations, couple’s tribe activity planning (although that has been significantly reduced in frequency), and leaning into new friendships (kayak day trip this past weekend!).
Move my Body – I still love my cardio drumming, which gives me physical movement to feel better, plus I’m beginning to sing along (work on my throat chakra!). I also need to keep working yoga back into my schedule.
Moon phase awareness with monthly tarot reflection on the new moon and monthly beach walk shelling after a full moon.
Personal pampering with activities like monthly massages, going for a pedicure, and weekly dates.

Some things that I am working on, that are also self-care!

Say no to something that doesn’t feel right.
Spend more time in nature. More beach or park walks. Watch the sunrise or sunset.
Plan do-nothing time. Take a nap! Lounge a full day in comfy clothing.
Get back to being creative.. I did a house vision board! Now I need to go beyond finishing the wine bottle centerpieces (for our fall wine festival) and get back into some other creative crafting ideas.
Boost my hydration – Drink more water, drink herbal tea, and eat more fruit.
Work on breathing – Taking three intentional breathes when something triggers me or my thoughts start to spiral is something I need to remember!

And to push myself, there are some ideas from the lists to try something new:

Try a guided relaxation meditation and/or body scan meditation.
Light a scented candle.
Do one thing you’ve been putting off – and do mini-celebration when you do it.
Do weekly awe walk and take photos.

This exercise in thinking about self-care highlighted my continued inner belief that self-care was selfish, which prevented me from recognizing I do a lot of it. I’m now curious to see if this new awareness of these practices being self care helps boost my emotional regulation and anxiety reduction!

Do you have the inner belief that self-care is selfish? What’s your favorite self-care practice?

Picture: this weekend’s ladies kayak adventure at Rainbow Springs State Park