One lesson I’ve learned from my retired clients is that it’s human nature to feel anxious about spending money – especially when the paycheque stops and you’re drawing down your own savings and investments.
After decades of watching account balances go up, it’s deeply uncomfortable to watch them go the other way. It just doesn’t feel good.
What happens next is often a retirement of chronic underspending.
Even worse, when you really think about it, are the decades of saving too much – forgoing some of life’s pleasures along the way during your working years – only to see that money sit there, untouched, in retirement.
No one wants to die with millions in the bank and regrets in their heart.
Bill Perkins, author of Die With Zero, puts it plainly: the point of life isn’t to die with the most money in your account. And no, it’s not about literally dying with zero dollars, either. It’s about dying with zero regrets.
Turning Off the Savings Tap
I’ve taken this lesson to heart – both through my clients’ experiences and in my own life.
There was a time when I was laser-focused on our savings rate. We lived well below our means, and it worked. We hit our financial goals early and built up a significant nest egg in our 40s.
But as our income grew, our lifestyle didn’t really change. We weren’t paying ourselves more. We weren’t spending more on the things that bring us joy.
If we had stayed on that trajectory – high savings rate, aggressive investing, frugal living – we would have reached retirement with more money than we could ever spend. But at what cost?
Trips not taken. A dream home not built. Memories not made. Our health potentially neglected. Kids passed over for opportunities because we were clinging too tightly to our “plan.”
Even worse, we wouldn’t have developed the spending habits or mindset needed to enjoy the money we worked so hard to accumulate. You can’t just flip a switch in retirement and go from spending $80,000 per year to $160,000. You’d have to become a completely different person.
And most people won’t.
What Spending Looks Like for Us Now
So when a client recently asked how much we budget for travel, I hesitated. Because we don’t have a “number.”
We plan around school breaks – somewhere warm in February, Europe or the UK in the summer, maybe another getaway around Easter or in the fall. That can easily add up to anywhere from $35,000 to $60,000 per year on travel.
I know that number sounds insane.
But we don’t have a trailer, or a boat, or a cottage. For years we drove one vehicle. We’ve built our life to prioritize travel and experiences. That’s where we want our money to go.
Couple that with an uncertain health outlook – my wife’s MS, my own Afib scare – and the fact that our kids are teenagers and won’t be living with us forever, and this chapter in our life is all about maximizing enjoyment.
No regrets for things undone.
I don’t want to scrimp through my 40s and 50s so I can (maybe) live it up in my 60s and 70s. From what I’ve seen, most people won’t do it. They won’t flip the switch.
What We’re Doing Instead
Economists call it consumption smoothing – spending a consistent, reasonable amount over your lifetime, adjusted as your needs and priorities shift. For us, that might look like spending $120,000 per year for life (adjusted for inflation).
That means elevating our lifestyle now – while we’re healthy, active, and have our kids at home – so we don’t reach the end with a bunch of unspent money and a list of missed opportunities.
Last year we took an unforgettable trip across Europe: London, Paris, Zurich, Lauterbrunnen, Lake Como, Venice. We even saw a once-in-a-lifetime concert.
Thirty-five-year-old me would’ve never pulled the trigger on that trip. But forty-five-year-old me? I had the mindset. I had the perspective. And frankly, we had the means.
No regrets. It’s a trip we’ll remember for the rest of our lives.
Balance
This is not about YOLOing today and neglecting your future self. And it’s not about depriving yourself today for a chance to live it up in the future. It’s about balance.
Balance means we’re on track to refill our TFSAs within the next 2-3 years.
Balance means potentially funding international tuition for our oldest daughter after that.
Balance means planning a few more bucket list trips that we can do as a family – in this season of life – before our kids go off to post-secondary and start living independently.
Balance means paying off our mortgage before we semi-retire and decide on our next chapter.
You can live for today while still saving responsibly for tomorrow.
What This Means For You
So, if you’re in the savings phase, here’s my encouragement:
- Yes, save aggressively when you’re starting out. But know that it’s okay to level up when your income allows. Give yourself permission to enjoy the fruits of your labour along the way.
- Practice spending. Seriously. If you never flex those muscles, they’ll atrophy. Retirement won’t feel like freedom – it’ll feel like fear.
- Map your spending to your values. If travel matters, make space for it. If it’s music, or food, or education for your kids – lean into those. Life is short. Make it sweet.
- Run the numbers. A sustainable retirement isn’t about maxing out every tax shelter and living like a monk. It’s about figuring out what you can spend and aligning your money with your goals and values.
And if you’re already retired – or close to it – and feel stuck in saver mode? You’re not alone. You’ve done the hard part. Now it’s time to give yourself the gift of using the money.
Not wastefully. Not recklessly. But intentionally.
Because the real goal isn’t to die with the most money.
It’s to die with the fewest regrets.
