What Deep Faith Really Looks Like

Big H Hope anchors Christian faith. Little h hope weathers the wait for healing. Discover the difference and why doubt doesn’t disqualify your faith.

I’ve prayed hundreds of thousands of prayers for God to heal my body and let me sleep.

I’ve shared more about my own journey with chronic insomnia here – a story of grief, grace, and God’s sustaining presence in the in-between.

Some were whispered through tears in the middle of the night. Others were said with boldness, hands raised in worship, fully confident in who God is. And many were just groaned out under my breath, somewhere between exhaustion and desperation.

And through it all, one thing has remained steady – my Big H Hope in God.

Big H Hope – God Is Who He Says He Is

That kind of Hope, capital H Hope, is the anchor of my faith. It’s the deep-down certainty that God is who He says He is. That Jesus really did rescue me. That eternity is promised and real. That God is good, even when my circumstances are not.

That’s the Hope that keeps me tethered when everything else feels like it’s falling apart.

But there’s another kind of hope that’s been harder for me to hold on to.

The kind of hope that says, “Maybe I’ll sleep tonight.”
“Maybe this doctor will have an answer.”
“Maybe this time the medicine will work.”

Little h hope – the hope that takes a beating in this world

This little h hope is what rises when something looks promising and crashes when it doesn’t pan out. It’s the kind of hope that feels more fragile, because it’s tied to when and how God moves, not if He’s real or whether He’s good.

And if I’m honest? That’s the kind of hope that’s taken a beating in my own heart.

I’ve tried treatment after treatment. Held on through one “maybe this is it” after another. And every time something doesn’t work, my little h hope takes another hit.

Sometimes, it feels easier not to hope at all than to hope and be disappointed again.

But I can’t seem to help myself. I still find my heart reaching for it. And deep down, I want to be the kind of person who keeps hoping anyway.

But here’s the thing I’ve learned:
Losing little h hope doesn’t mean losing faith.

It doesn’t mean your prayers aren’t bold enough.
It doesn’t mean you’re not believing in God “enough”.
And it definitely doesn’t mean God is disappointed in you.

Because faith was never about pretending we’re not tired.
It’s not about plastering on certainty we don’t feel or repeating words we don’t believe yet.
Faith is about bringing our whole selves – confusion, weariness, questions and all – into the presence of God.

If you’re looking for truth to hold onto in a hard season, here are 31 Bible verses about hope to anchor your heart and remind you of God’s faithfulness.

Recognizing The Tension

Big H Hope doesn’t always look like unwavering optimism.
Sometimes it looks like seeking God, even when you feel numb.
Sometimes it looks like praying one more time, even when the last hundred prayers didn’t get the answer you longed for.
Sometimes it looks like trusting God’s character more than your current circumstances.

If you’re in a season of asking God for healing, these prayers for healing from Scripture might give you words when yours feel too heavy to find.

I believe God is Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals.
I believe He can heal me in an instant.
And I believe one day, I will be fully healed.

But that healing might not come in the way, or the timing, I want it to. And that’s where Big H Hope holds me, even when little h hope falters.

Because Big H Hope is about the Who, not the what.
The eternal, not the immediate.
The character of God, not the outcome of my prayer.

I don’t have all the answers. I still wrestle. I still ask why.
But I’ve learned that wrestling isn’t a threat to my faith. It’s a mark of intimacy. Relationship.
It’s the kind of honesty that deepens trust. The kind of sorrow that invites comfort.

And if you’re in a season where your little h hope is running thin, I want to say this clearly:

That doesn’t mean your faith is weak.

It doesn’t mean you’re letting God down.

It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

You can be full of faith in who God is, completely confident in His power, His love, His promises, and still feel weary from the waiting.

Still feel disappointed. Still feel unsure about what He’s going to do next.

That tension doesn’t make you a bad Christian.

It makes you human. And faithful in the midst of real pain.

Because biblical faith isn’t about mustering certainty in an outcome. It’s about trusting the character of God even when the outcome is unknown.

So if you’re still showing up to pray… still asking… still choosing to stay in conversation with the Lord even when it hurts?

That’s not a lack of faith. That’s what deep faith looks like.

He sees your weariness. He welcomes your tears.
And He’s not asking you to hold it all together. He’s asking you to hold on to Him.

Even when you’re tired.
Even when you’re unsure.
Even when hope feels hard.

He is strong enough to hold your Big H Hope and your little h hope too.