Today’s guest post is from Ms. FUnds who writes over at FUFIRE. She has had some tough times and her story is inspirational. Financial Independence (FI) means something different to everyone. For some, it’s a permanent vacation, traveling the world. To me, it always meant security. Money can solve a lot of problems, easing the pain points of life.
Upon discovering FI, Ms. FUnds changed her life for the better:
And because of all the confidence and competence I had generated within myself during the FI journey, I didn’t have to walk on eggshells anymore. I had no fear of “what if we go to court?”, or “what if I lose everything in this fight?”. I had the confidence and the means to do whatever I had to do for my family, no matter the consequence. I knew I could start from 0 again. Make a new plan. I could live with myself, knowing I tried everything I could to make life for my child better.
Besides being a badass human, Ms, FUnds is also a badass writer, Please enjoy her post!
Sustaining Sanity For The Long Adventure Ahead
My name is Ms. FUnds, and I am going to retire early in 7 years enjoy this FIRE journey whether I like it or not.
I have always had to pay a price for my ambitions. Once a goal is in place, it is an “all or nothing” approach, even at the expense of my sanity. Either I hit the ball out of the park, or, on the rare occasion, I embarrassingly drag my stubborn butt from the wreckage of an objective that has crashed and burned. I have often been accused of being an overachiever, thinking the phrase “pace yourself” sounds like an excuse to be lazy.
So my thoughts when I came across the FIRE movement?
Awesome! Damn it.
As excited as I was about the early retirement idea, I knew the pursuit was going to take a toll. I could anticipate the mental energy and sacrifices I would have to manage over time to get this right. I was already exhausted as a single parent, with a full time job, who spent their weekends fixing up their home. Take on another task? WHY do I do this to myself? The answer was easy- it gave me the hope that I could be out of my busy, overcomplicated misery in a decade or less. Maybe then, finally, I could rest.
*Sigh*… Sign me up!
My anxious brain loves a detailed plan. It plowed forward mercilessly, developing an outline for my great career escape. If everything went according to plan, I could be free in 7 years! From what I had read, this “grind” period is required in order to achieve the prize at the end of the frugal, tax strategized road. So I hunkered down, put on blinders, and began the journey.
For the first few months, this method worked out relatively well. I was overwhelmed with work, family, and so many tasks that I thought the only way to find space to breathe was on the other side of retirement. So I justified this ambitious goal, tightening up my purse strings even more.
I just need to get through the next 7 years. I can rest then.
Slowly, over time, another thought was brewing in the back of my mind: You are taking away too much from today, for a tomorrow you think you have. Also, add string cheese to the grocery list. Whenever this former thought surfaced, I smacked it away; Shhhh. Stick to your path. It’s safe here. Any changes will add to your timeline!
I was going to be free in 7 years, even if I had to drag myself over the finish line.
At this point, the progress had become a double edged sword. The more I gained, the more I feared I would lose. Suddenly, the desire to apply to a different job, or a conversation about planning a family trip felt like a threat to my precious plan. I had organized my journey as though I lived in a vacuum, leaving out room for unknowns, for unexpected opportunities. I had stopped dreaming about possibilities… I couldn’t risk a disruption!
And then I had to learn the hard way that there is no plan that is disruption-proof.
On some unsuspecting Thursday (for me, it always seems to be on a Thursday), one of the biggest curveballs of my life came at me, head on. I had to step up as a parent, as an advocate for my child, and stand my ground, potentially putting everything I had on the line. If I needed to spend every penny I had so desperately hoarded for myself, I would relinquish it in a heartbeat to make things right for my family.
What is the point of wealth for the future if you are at the mercy of your fears in order to preserve it?
This issue slowly and painfully got resolved, with a better outcome I dared to expect. For this, I give credit to my family who supported me, encouraged me to hold my ground, and to expect nothing except the best for my kid. A secret weapon in this battle had been the knowledge of my strong financial standing, knowing I had the resources to push, no matter how long and hard, until things were right. Even if I had to lose everything in the process. I had the skills and resilience to start from zero if I had to. I walked away from this experience, finally understanding the power Fuck You money provided.
In the aftermath of this, the “all or nothing approach” to my FIRE journey has loosened. The experience taught me I could already call so many shots in my life, and make so many more decisions on my own terms than I had realized. I didn’t need to be miserable in this process of making my way towards FIRE- I needed to recognize the benefits of this journey that I could already reap. It was as though a veil was lifted; my boss doesn’t really hold my life in their hands; my ex can’t throw unreasonable curveballs my way and get away with it. I was at the mercy of no one. The pressure from all of my perceived fears was released.
Rest.
I learned the hard way (why is this the only way I learn things?) that I don’t need to wait until I’m 100% financially independent to have freedom and to love the life I have in front of me. I can benefit from the financial standing I have acquired so far, right now. Even in the chaos of working, improving my home, and reveling in the amazing (and slightly weird smelling) experience that is raising another human being.
So where to now? Well, first I need to find the lizard in my house that escaped from my kid’s pocket. Then onward, towards the goal. Until I get there, I am savoring the precious experiences that are going to be gone someday, from the childhood I get to share with my youngin’, to the house projects that may actually end someday, and even to the job that I genuinely like when I remind myself it’s not as stressful as I give it credit for. I am fighting my anxious brain’s instincts to overplan for the future, whether I like it or not, in an effort to keep an open mind for unknowns.
My name is Ms. FUnds, and I will probably retire in about 7 years, all the while having a blast and living life on my own terms.
Thank you Ms. FUnds for sharing your story. I really appreciate it, although some of your mindset hits a little too close to home:
Once a goal is in place, it is an “all or nothing” approach, even at the expense of my sanity.
I am fighting my anxious brain’s instincts to overplan for the future, whether I like it or not, in an effort to keep an open mind for unknowns.
Oof. This. Is.Me. And those qualites aren’t terrible. I mean, which would you rather be; someone who goes crazy with a great goal or one spends hours on the couch watching mindless TV with orange hands from a diet of cheese balls?
But we also can’t sacrifice the present for a future we build up in our mind.
Unlike me and my FI journey, Ms. FUnds has identified these behaviors and her journey will be a much healthier one.
Ms. FUnds is going to be just fine.
Follow her on her journey over at FUFIRE.
