I love serendipity. Quotes have been popping up in my various feeds about starting a new chapter. In many ways, it feels right:
Move on, it’s just a chapter in your life. Ok, one very bad chapter. It’s not the whole story.
Virtually close the door on the last chapter; just turn the page for a new one.
The story doesn’t end here. Simply start a new chapter in your life.
The metaphor that life is chapters in a story and it’s simply turning the page to start a new chapter of that story is very compelling. Clean slate, fresh start. I even started a new journal on January 1st.
Another component of thinking about life as chapters in a story, and starting a new chapter of that story, is my realization that every story about hurricane recovery is different. I’ve heard lots of stories – because neighbors all talk about it whenever we get together and even on-line with questions and complaints. Everyone has a different approach to dealing with what has happened – from giving up and walking away, to ignoring “the system” and hoping It won’t be noticed, to trying to figure out a path forward within the system, or even to figure out how to best fight the system. And since “the system” has multiple components – from local building departments (permitting and code enforcement), to County Property Appraiser reports (with property tax implications), to managing multiple insurance programs if you have them (homeowners, vehicles, hurricane wind, and flood), to state grant programs, and multiple federal programs (FEMA, SBA loans) – the range of “managing through recovery” stories is huge. Then there are the different paths moving forward – from sell off (with or without a house on the land), to restore (and who can do the work), to raise (physically lift), to build-up (add second story and convert first to non-living space), to build new. And yes, with every story you hear, there is a brief tendency to wonder, “did I do the right thing for me, for my story?”
It made me wonder if this new chapter mindset is just an every-January feeling. I looked back; having an on-line diary is so useful to see where I was in December 2023/January 2024 or even December 2022/January 2023!
- Two years ago, I was focusing on accepting our new lifestyle living in Florida with lots of “continue” on my retirement lifestyle vision. I was also thinking how things would shift with my mom moving here in early 2023. But 2023 didn’t turn out quite as planned as my mom passed away just after her move here, spiraling me into grief recovery and estate settlement for much of the year. A new chapter in my story, written with many tears.
- A year ago, I was focusing on becoming more intentional with putting my positive psychology tools to use. I already did many, so it didn’t feel like a big new chapter mindset shift. I wanted to do more crafting, feel comfortable with more solo activities, and was challenged with belonging (not a new feeling). Interestingly I did have a significant mindset shift about belonging and friendship in 2024 (link here). And the end of 2024 was certainly a shocking twist in my story line.
This end of 2024/beginning of 2025 turn-the-page approach is really a reaction to the past 3 months and a desire to put it behind me. The heavy, acute trauma reaction is past although I still have surges of grief almost every day, usually when I think of something lost. I also continue to second guess choices made. Going with my gut feel is not something I’m comfortable with. Increasing my acceptance of my intuition has been one of the areas of growth for me in retirement. My recent tarot reflection readings (Solstice, New Moon) have consistently been about relying more on my intuition! My analytical, rationalizing, overthinking brain struggles with that. I find myself trying to justify an intuition-based choice with analytical rationale! This balancing my critical thinking, engineer-trained mind with using a more intuitive, body-feeling approach is not necessarily a new chapter!
But a large component of this new chapter metaphor feels like putting an end of the previous chapter – turn the page, close the door, move on. The fact is I cannot simply ignore the things that still need to happen from the last chapter written. Many elements (characters? arcs?) need to continue into the next page of the story!
Since I am refocusing on my retirement lifestyle vision (and my WOTY Patience), is the better metaphor a Reset?
Hit the reset button. Whatever happened yesterday – forget about it.
Today is a new day to start fresh. Refocus and restart the things that matter.
Reset, Refocus, Restart.
A reset button restarts a device/system or restores it to its original state allowing it to function normally again. Not necessarily a factory reset which erases all settings and configuration data; don’t want that!. A reset sometimes involves an unplug and restart. There was definitely a bit of an unplugging in the past three months as I stopped all my routines. But a refocus onto my retirement lifestyle vision is what I am doing.
I found this comment about resetting your life: “Taking the steps to reset your life may sound like starting completely from scratch, but it’s more akin to refreshing any routines or habits that aren’t serving you.” And yes, as I return to planning and executing those plans, I am considering which habits and routines to restart – which activities to reengage, which crafts to repurchase supplies for, which things truly bring me joy. A refresh, you might say.
So, January 2025 is turning the page to begin a new chapter in this retirement life. It is a reset to function normally again, to live my retirement lifestyle vision, day by day. But it is not closing the door to everything from the last chapter; it is a continuation of my story with a bit of a refresh.. There are many characters and arcs in the story that need resolution!
Do you view a new year as a beginning of a new chapter? A closing the door on the past? A continuation of the story? A reset? A refresh?
Picture credit: Pixabay
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