Retirement often does not go as originally planned. There can be surprise health issues with the mindset and lifestyle changes that result from that significant life impact. There are choices to make changes in your retirement plan when things don’t play out as you had hoped, like our Big Move to Florida when the snowbird lifestyle just didn’t feel right. And now, for us, a life-quake trauma (double hurricanes) from Mother Nature, disrupting our new lifestyle. As a Type-A personality (yes, still) I’m struggling with feeling that I should be recovering from this latest trauma more quickly.
Yes, I know. “Should” is a word that I’ve tried to eliminate from my vocabulary! But at month 4 post the trauma, of double hurricanes, I’m feeling my emotional recovery is not progressing. I continue to Compare and Despair when hearing about other’s house recovery paths. My impatience shows up as a very short fuse with people; hubby and I have had more fights in the past 3 months than the previous 30 years. I feel like I’m becoming mean. And the physical side of things – feeling nausea, having chest constriction, easy tears (flowing even as I type this blog) – just make getting out of bed every morning a challenge.
I’m doing the things recommended by grief and trauma specialists and that I’ve touted here in the blog (Link here). I did my January “I Did It” accomplishment list to remind myself that I am making small steps forward, I am engaging in my Positivity Practices, I am trying to “live” and not just focus on house recovery. In January, there were 12 new experiences including a few new restaurants (a favorite thing for me), 9 books read, and a return to some of my favorite weekly and monthly routines. I booked some upcoming trips as well. A return to travel was my mindset shift back in September; the blog about that never got finalized nor published!
And yes, there was slow progress on the house recovery. One of those balls I’m juggling (link post here) has actually been fully completed. Woo-hoo! But as we move closer to the build stage, new balls will be added – things like exploring the right elevator and whole house water filtration systems, which were already added to the to-do list. I’m also learning that, “I don’t know what I don’t know!” The steps in the process are unclear and, unfortunately, still seem to be changing weekly. I’m trying hard to not let those changes or unmet expectations or missed unknowns make me swirl into negativity, but it’s hard!
I have things in February I am looking forward to – a trip to visit with long-term friends is on the top of that list. I have high hopes for some of the house recovery balls to even get done – finalization of insurance payments, finalizing house plans, full house demo (which I expect to be another trauma). I am also going to see a trauma therapist as I think I need a little more help in the emotional recovery.
There are days I need to remind myself, “Yes, I am strong. Yes, I am resilient. And while right now things feel dark and chaotic and overwhelming, it will all eventually be OK.” I choose Patience as my WOTY and boy, is it needed!
Thanks for “listening.” “Telling your story” is another aspect of recovery.
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